Besides Homer, a lot of the other residents of
Springfield
have their own sexual "issues"...
(Please note - some of these clips only have a
sexual connotation
if you choose to listen to
them with a "dirty* mind....like *I* did!)
Enjoy!
Burns & Smithers
Burns: Smithers, take off my belt.
Smithers:
With pleasure, Sir.
(84K)
Burns: So, another Friday's upon us...
What'll you be doing, Smithers?...something GAY no
doubt...
Smithers: whaa....What?!
(148K)
Nuclear Power Plant Computer: 90 seconds to
core meltdown
Smithers: Sir...there may
never be another time to say..."I love you, Sir."
Burns: Oh hot dog! Thank you for making my
last few moments on earth socially awkward!
(204K)
Nuclear Power Plant Computer:30 secnds to core
meltdown...
Burns: Oh, Smithers, I guess
there's nothing left but to kiss my sorry butt goodbye.
Smithers:
May I, Sir?
Burns: Woo..oouhh
(168K)
Burns: I savor the sights, the sounds, and
<sniff> ah yes...the SMELLS of...other men!
(128K)
Burns: So, tell me...are all of you government
inspectors so handsome and strapping?
Inspector
<looking nervous>: We've got a soloflex down at HQ.
ANYway....
(168K)
DJ <interviewing Burns>: Question 2...how
long is your weiner...seriously?
Burns:
Great Heavens!
DJ: How about this.....when
was your first gay experience?
Burns: Oh
well...when I was six my father took me on a picnic....
That
was a gay old time....hoho...I ate my share of weiners THAT day!
(320K)
Burns: A jar of garlic pickles! Heheheh...no
one will want to kiss me after these, eh, Smithers?
Smithers:
Well...it's THEIR loss, Sir.
Burns: Heheheh...heh....yes....
(204K)
Burns <at the ballet>: Far too much dancing...and
not nearly enough prancing!
Smithers: A
little mincing would be nice...
(128K)
Smithers <in confessional>: Father, I'm
not a catholic, but...well, I TRIED to march in the
St
Patrick's Day parade, but anyway....I've got a rather large sin
to confess....
(148K)
Smithers <to Kim Basinger>: Miss Basinger,
those pumps you wore in L.A. Confidential
were
FABulous! Where can I get a pair for my...uhh....MOTHER? She wears
a 12 Double E.
(148K)
Smithers: I think women and "seaman"
don't mix.
(44K)
Barney
Barney: Is it okay to come now, Mr. Gay Man....Sir?
(92K)
Bart
Bart: It's time for me to bend over and receive
....my Destiny!
(168K)
Bart: There's GOTTA be SOMEthing fun in my
parent's closet.
Millhouse: Wanna dress
up like ladies?
Bart: Uhhh....Wouldn't that
make us kind of....fruity?
Millhouse: Whatsamatter?
Scared ya might LIKE it?
Bart: I'll show
you who's scared! <looking in mirror> Oh wow...this really
hides my thighs! Grrrr...!
Millhouse & Bart
<singing>: Sisters!....are doing it for themselves....
Homer <knocking on bedroom door>: Hey
why is this door locked?
Bart: Oh no...it's
DAD!
Homer <opening door> : AHHHH!
What's going on?....and I want the NON-gay explanation!
Millhouse:
Uhh....we're drunk....REALLY drunk!
Homer:
Oh....thank GOD!
(736K)
Lost in Space Robot: You have still got it,
Dr. Smith!
Dr. Smith <to robot>: SILENCE...you
nickel plated nitwit!
Dr. Smith <to Bart>:
My dear boy...I'd be happy to show you my resumé...
if you'd care to meet me later in the food court....?
Lost in Space Robot: DANGER!...DANGER!....Bart
Simpson!
(260K)
Bart: Dad, why did you bring me to a gay steel
mill?
Homer: I don't know!...This is a NIGHTMARE!
(124K)
Bart: Don't worry...you'll feel better once
we put your hair up in curlers
and give you a
makeover......Hom-eena.
Homer: Oh that would
be de-LIGHT-ful!
(156K)
Bart: I guess I'm a SISSY!
(44K)
Bart: He thinks I'm gay?
(32K)
Bart: You KISSED me!
Homer:
Why...there's nothing wrong with a father kissing his son...I
think.
(100K)
Bart: Oooooh.....my OVARIES!
(124K)
Homer: You're going HUNTING!
Moe:
You ever been huntin' before, there...Bart?
Bart:
Nope...somethin" about a bunch of guys....alone....together
in the woods....
...seems klind of GAY!
(200K)
Bart: I didn't
think it was physically possible, but this both sucks AND blows!
(76K)
Bart: Why would ANYbody want to touch a girl's
butt?
Kent Brockman
Brockman: Top o'
the mornin' to ya...on this grey, drizzley afternoon.
Kent
O'Brockman, LIVE on main street, where today, EVERYone is a little
bit Irish...
heheh, except of course...for the
gays and the Italians.
(252K)
Flanders
Flanders: My buttocks came into contact with
the....buttocks of another young MAN!
(88K)
Grampa
Lisa: You're a member of the Stonecutters,
Grampa?
Grampa: Oh sure, let's see...Mmmmm...I'm
an Elk, a Mason, a Communist...
I'm the president
of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance for some reason...
(132K)
John Waters
John Waters: Well,
I could wrap a bow around you and slap on a price tag!
(76K)
John Waters:
It's CAMP!
(20K)
Homer: What
would YOU know about hunting?
John Waters: I
know this much...I wouldn't wear that hideous hat!
(88K)
Hoodlum Kid
Hoodlum: He's
a SISSY!....let's RUSH him!
(60K)
Hoodlum
<watching ballet>: He's graceful...yet masculine....so
it's okay for me to enjoy this!
(92K)
Hoodlum:
That is SO GAY!
(56K)
Man
Man: Bart, I could
KISS you....if the Bigger Brothers hadn't
made
me sign a form promising I wouldn't.
(96K)
Krusty the Clown
Woman: Excuse me, Edna...I don't think we're
talking about "LOVE" here.
We're talking
about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N.
Krusty:
SEX CAULDRON? I thought they closed that place down!
(276K)
(Note: There used to be a gay sex club here in
SF called the Cauldron!)
Krusty <to some kid>: Hoohoohehehehehe...Hey
kid, get your finger outta there!
(112K)
Lisa
Lisa: He thinks you're gay...
(48K)
School Psychiatrist
Psychiatrist:
Nothing to be alarmed about...public school CAN be intimidating
to a young child...
...particularly with one with
as many FLAMBOYANTLY homosexual tendencies as your son.
Marge:
Bart's GAY?
(264K)
Selma
Selma: There goes the last lingering thread
of my heterosexuality.
(88K)
Ralph
(64K)
Ralph:
Help! She's touching my "special" area!
Marge
Marge: <sobbing> My father was a......STEWARDESS!
(152K)
Marge: And that's where Ellen Degeneres and
Anne Heche live!
Ellen and Anne: We're LESBIANS!
(104K)
Marge: John is a ho...mo...
Homer:
Right....?
Marge: SEXual!
Homer:
Aaaaaaaaaah!
(144K)
Marge: He prefers the company of MEN!
Homer:
Who DOESN'T?
(80K)
Moe
Moe: <on the phone while Bart is playing
a phone prank on him>
Why can't I find Amanda
Huginkiss?
Barney: Maybe your standards
are too high!
(148K)
Moe: ...Whole modern world's got a swishifying
effect on kids today!
(80K)
Homer: ...And the entire steel mill was GAY!
Moe: Where ya been, Homer? The entire steel
INDUSTRY is gay....
Yeah... aerospace, too...AND
the railroads....and ya know what else? ....BROADWAY!
(276K)
Sea Captain
Sea Captain: Ya'ar...it's
kind of ya to deliver these copies of "Jugs".
...they'll
keep my men from resortin' to homosexuality.....fer about ten
minutes!
<laughter>
Crew
member: Look who's talkin'!
Sea Captain:
<looking sheepish> Ya-ar...
(320K)
Chief Wiggum
Wiggum: Aaah...just get one of those INFLATABLE
women...
but make sure it's a woman, though...cuz
one time I...uhmmmm...hah...
(140K)
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